Saying Yes.

When the kids heard that it was snowing a mere 2 hours north (and not the kind of snow that melts before it hits the ground, this was actual snow), we were met with cries of, "Can we please please pleaseeee go see the snow?"

Sure it would have been easy to tell them no, that daddy was working, and it was a weeknight, but something in me thought, "why not?"  I called Jon at work, he rescheduled the rest of his appointments for the day (it was a slow day anyway), and we hit the road.

We originally intended to drive to Savannah, but our gas light came on around 2 hours from home, and when we pulled off for gas, there was actual snow on the ground!  Another family was already there, all bundled up, watching as their children built a snowman, so we pulled on the kids mucking boots (we're from Florida - that's all you need down here), and let them run wild in the field next to the gas station.

Sometimes, you just have to say yes.

Yes to adventure.
Yes to exploration.
Yes to experiences.
Yes to the unknown.
Yes to making memories.

Your whole family will be better for it.
Trust me.

We will always remember that time we hopped in the van, drove across the state line, and played in the snow by a roadside fruit stand.

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Making Time

I needed more time.  

  

Especially since the time change, there just hadn't seemed to be enough hours in the day.  Sure, we'd been getting our school work and house work done, but there was just not enough time for doing nothing, and well, I needed more time for.... nothing! 

When I think back to just 5 years ago, there was always time.  So much everyday that I'd find myself wondering what I could do to busy myself until Jon came home from work.  We were still homeschooling, so that can't be used as an excuse, because we could get our work done and still take  a walk to the grocery store for dinner ingredients with time to spare.  

If I'm honest with myself, I know what's changed (and it's not the addition of a child).

It's likely the same thing that prevents you from finding more "me time," more time for stillness, contemplation, reading, being.

It's social media, and it's something that I'm ok with admitting I struggle with.  I have a love hate relationship with social media.  Facebook used to be so great for staying connected to far away family, old friends, and people from across the country that you met on your honeymoon and now get to watch their children grow up. 

Instagram has been awesome for peeping into peoples beautiful (albeit sometimes made up) lives and imagining how lovely it must be to bake pies from scratch using organic ingredients from your garden out back of your cliff top house in Switzerland (you know what I'm talking about....).

But let's be real.  They are time sucks, and it's so hard to avoid them.

Even with notifications turned off on my phone, I'll check in to facebook, and before I know it, 20 minutes have gone by and I haven't even interacted with anyone I know.

But I've watched a video of Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake, seen someone complaining about the president, seen 10 cat pictures, more complaining about the president, complaining about the people complaining about the president, found out what my Fairy Princess name is, taken a quiz to see what type of shoes I would be if I were a pair of shoes, and so on and so on and so on until I've wasted all of that precious time I was looking for earlier.

Sure, it doesn't always happen in a large chunk like that.  Sometimes, I check in a few times a day for little nuggets of nothingness here and there, because, that's what it is, nothingness.  I haven't actually retained anything from that video recipe for making caramel apple streudel that I watched for 8 minutes.

Anddddd there's my precious time.
That's where it went.
That's why I've been reading the same (actually really fascinating) book for a month and am still at page 104.

I've decided I don't want to live like that anymore.  I'm tired of wasting time on scrolling that I could be using on things I really care about (ie. reading, gardening, crafting, learning), so I decided I was going to make a concentrated effort to find myself more time in 2018 by deleting my personal facebook account.  

I'm on day 2, and while I have noticed a slight compulsion to reach for my phone, only to realize mid-grab that there are no notifications to check, I'm already feeling much happier. 

Yesterday, we found the time to have family movie night, color gorgeous meditative coloring pages of wolves for the Wolf Moon, and the Hubs and I even enjoyed a cup of eggnog and read our books (yes, real books - no phones needed) by the fireside together after the kids went to bed.  It was heaven! 

This combined with the return of the light now that solstice has passed, and my head is spinning with all the possibilities of what I will do with my new found time each day!

Is there anything you've let go of for the new year?

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Surprises

This boy.

Our cautious child.

He's always been slower to try new things than the others, and the older he grew, the more cautious he became.  Refusing to try new foods (even foods that he once ate daily) until he was living on a diet of flavorless cardboard type foods (like cheerios and dry toast).

He stopped wanting to jump in the pool, though he used to do it all the time.  Even refusing to ride the small roller coaster at Disney.

Until recently. 

One day, he began to emerge from his cave of cautiousness, taking one tiny step at a time - "Mom, can I have butter on my toast?"

"I'll try some of that Chinese food."

"I'll come with you to ride the roller coaster."

"I really want to do the Flow Rider on our Thanksgiving cruise."

And you know what?  He was awesome.  Even the lifeguard stood up and clapped for him.

So mamas, if you're stuck in plain cheerio-land, don't worry.  We were there for a couple of years.

You will get out. 

Maybe not on your call, but you will get out.

Your kiddo will come around in time. 

It's up to you to always offer the new foods/opportunities/experiences, but be ok with it if your child turns them down. 

One day, they just might surprise you.

And it will make your mama heart soar.

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Good for you.

Ever wonder why we can't just be whatever we want?  I mean, some people can, but not all of us.  We worry about what people will think, who we might disappoint, etc. 

Growth is hard. 

It really is.  Because when you grow, you leave things behind, even people.  But people who don't grow, or grow at a different pace than you, or in a different direction that you get offended when you don't stay the same. 

It kind of like someone buying you a pair of Unicorn slippers for Christmas because they know you love unicorns, even though you haven't loved unicorns since you were 12. 

Ok, that was a crappy analogy, but you know what I mean.  I'm not the same girl I always was - heck, I'm not the same girl I was yesterday. 

Just because something resonates with you doesn't mean it resonates with me.  And just because something from a certain "category" resonates with me, doesn't mean I fully fit into said category.  I've said before that I don't like boxes and have spent my whole life trying to find the one I fit into (only to realize that boxes are for the birds).

Things that are important to you may not be important to me and vice versa, and guess what?  That's OKAY.  I promise. 

I've been searching for how to deal with leaving people behind who can't be left behind, if that makes any sense.  People who are around for the long haul, but that you've outgrown, or can't connect to anymore. 

See, I've never been good at bullshitting.  Actually, that's probably one of the things that I'm the worst at in life.  I don't care about that sports team, or your makeup, or how the weather is, or what so and so is up to.  And I have a really hard time engaging in things I don't care about/don't agree with/don't believe in.  I don't have to proclaim my view, but I can't really fake in sharing yours very well, so I always flounder around until I fall silent. 

Well, a friend taught me the PERFECT response to for moments like that:

good

for

you.

 
That's it.

Good for you.

Isn't it wonderful?

This way, I'm not compromising my beliefs by lying and I'm not being rude by not reacting.

Good for you.

You have a different religion?  Good for you. 
You love so and so?  Good for you. 
You're fighting to save the sea turtles?  Good for you. 
You got a new car?  Good for you.   
You're selling all your belongings and backpacking across Europe?  Good for you.
You got your nails done?  Good for you.
You're going vegan?  Good for you.

See?  You have no idea whether I believe in what you're doing or not, because I'm not agreeing with you, but I'm not judging you either. 

Imagine a world where we used good for you rather than judging each other, or feeling like we've betrayed ourselves by faking it to our friends and family.

Give it a try.  See how it works for you.
I think you'll find it's the perfect way to keep things kind.

Keep it Kind Unisex tee available in our shop.

Tee:  @TheWildFolkCo
Shorts: Target
Shoes: SaltWater Sandals
Bracelet: @Sundrenchd
Necklace: @@shopmountainmade

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Goodbye October

October is my favorite month.  Not just because of the whole pumpkin spice fad, (I'm old enough to remember life before flavored coffees), although they are pretty wonderful, aren't they?

October feels like freedom.
It's shedding of the old, to allow room for the new. 

Outside, the leaves begin to turn beautiful colors, fall from the tree, and leave the branches bare for the winter.  While the tree is bare, it rests, preparing for the spring, when new growth will begin.

Though I don't wait until October, I feel as if my spirit is often turning beautiful colors before it sheds parts of me that no longer serve my higher purpose.  Then I turn inward, rest, and reflect until new spiritual growth begins. 

This frequently occuring cycle is natural and happens to all of us.  We only have to turn our focus inward a bit to recognize it.
And embrace it.

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Crotchety Coast

For so long, I've been in denial. 
Wishing for something that is not. 

This girl.
Who loathes being covered in sand. 
Who doesn't like that crispy feeling after swimming in the salty sea.
Who has fair skin, burns after an hour, and needs to get honest with herself about making a trip to the dermatologist. 
This girl makes no secret that the beach is not my happy place.

I come alive in the woods and around fresh water.  Maybe because that's where I spend my formative years - living alongside a crystal clear river that begins at a beautiful spring. 
I've been longing to return to that place and live alongside that river - we even gave it a go, but it didn't work out, so we ended up back here.
For all this time, I've been holding on to this dream that we'd be somewhere, anywhere in the woods, alongside a fresh water source. 

We live near this lovely little beach in a town that is so full of people who are unlike me. 

When we lived in the city, everyone was just everyone. 
No one judged, no one cared. 
You could drive a pinto or a range rover, and no one batted an eye either way. 
When we lived in the city, if you put on your blinker on a crowded highway, someone made way for you to change lanes. 

But this town.
In this town, you may be run right off a bridge if you would like to merge when your lane is ending.
This town is full of transplanted people who come from somewhere very different than where I come from.
 There is no melting pot to mix the different types of people, for they are all nearly the same, save for a few. 
This town is full of what you call "new money," and I have learned that "no money" is far better than "new money" in terms of kindness offered to strangers.
Many here have to be better.
Before.
First.
More.
I don't even know if they realize what they are.
It only takes joining a local facebook group and observing how people talk to each other to make you cringe.
I've never seen anything like it.
Driven by ego.
Crotchety.

Joseph Campbell said, "When you get to be older, and the concerns of the day have all been attended to, and you turn to the inner life - well, if you don't know where it is or what it is, you'll be sorry."

I wrote this post to convince myself that acceptance is my key to happiness.  That this is where we are, so this is where we're meant to be, and that I should turn my attention to the present instead of dreaming for what may come one day.
I thought that putting it to words would help me pull up my boots and move on, but you know what?  I can't. 
I will always long for a place where I can be among the tall trees, and listen to the birds and the running water, but I think what I'm truly longing for is to be surrounded by different energy. 
Loving energy. 
Accepting energy. 
Putting people before yourself energy. 

Until then, I will spend more of my time in our city to the north, which has much more of a "kindness vibe," and learn to appreciate the beach more, because our little neighboring beach town truly is lovely - especially in the evenings when the sun has begun to fade.

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Manual Mode

I've been taking as many steps as possible to help myself slow down this summer:

Completely shifting TheWildFolkCo away from social media and turning it into a hobby, rather than a business.

Forcing myself to take the time to sit and pre-read this term's upcoming books.

Taking time for grounding outside every day.  Never heard of grounding?  It's also called Earthing and is based on the premise that our bodies and cells have electrical energy, and just like we ground electrical outlets to avoid the buildup of excess charge, our bodies need to be grounded as well.

I've even gone so far as to trade my smart phone in for a flip phone, and while I'm not sure that's going to last long (more on that in another post), it has been a wonderful detox.

After 5 years of owning a dslr, I've finally found the time to work on learning how to use it in manual mode.  I'll admit, part of me can't get past the whole idea that if auto mode knows what the settings should be, why not just use auto?  It has been challenging, and I still have a long way to go, but I'm getting there.

It also helps that I have the cutest test subjects.

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They Need It Too

Some days are nothing short of exhausting.  When the kids have woken throughout the night, resulting in less than cheerful attitudes throughout the day.

Some days I feel as if I must be wearing a black dress with a white apron, because everyone seems to thinks I'm only there to serve them.

Some days I'm all mommed out.  And though my love for them is unfailing, what I think I want is a little break.

A break from them.

Jon offers to take them to the beach, so they can run around like little beasts, and for that I'm so grateful, but something in me usually seems to want to go too.

This is my break time - my chance at a moment of silence, but still, I go.

And I realize, it's not them that I need a break from.

It's life.

It's routine.

It's home.

And it's not just me.  They need it too.

They need this time to run like little beasts when the sun's harsh heat has begun to fade, and the gentle breeze of the ocean allows them to use up the energy that's been trying to press through the wrong outlets all day.

They need to see their parents, walking hand in hand in the evening light, watching them as they race up and down the sand and splash in the water.

Some days I don't go.  Some days do I choose to stay home and let them have their beastly boy time.

But on those days when I end up joining their adventure, I never seem to regret it.

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